Repeating relationship patterns
You can see it coming by the third date, and you go ahead anyway. It might be the same kind of man, or the same argument in a different flat. You understand the pattern perfectly well, and it keeps happening.
Gino Cosme / Online therapy for gay men
A gay therapist.
Your life doesn’t
need translating.
Online psychotherapy for gay men navigating anxiety, shame, loneliness and recurring relationship patterns. Work grounded in more than a decade of clinical experience and an understanding of the contexts that shape gay men’s lives.
Therapy: Available in selected countries.
Coaching is available worldwide.
You don’t have to
explain the context.
The pressure to be desirable. The distance between being liked and feeling known. The private cost of appearing fine.
I’m a gay psychotherapist. I know these pressures from lived experience as well as more than a decade of working with gay men. You don’t have to explain why being gay matters, or spend your sessions teaching me about the world you navigate. We can start with what it’s meant for you.
Meet Gino ↗What brings people here
Does this
sound familiar?
Different experiences can lead someone to therapy. These are some of the patterns we might explore.
Anxiety and self-monitoring
You walk into a room and start checking how you sound and who has noticed you. Afterwards you replay the conversation for what you got wrong. You have done this for so long that it feels like your personality.
Loneliness despite connection
Your phone is full and your weekends are booked. You still come home from most evenings feeling that nobody there really knows you. Making more plans hasn’t changed that, and you have tried.
The effort of appearing fine
Work is going well and people tell you that you have it all together. You have become very good at giving that impression, and nobody sees what it costs you by Sunday night. Telling someone would mean explaining why you didn’t say so sooner.
Therapy and coaching
Two ways to
work with me.
The right starting point depends on the kind of support you’re looking for.
A place to work with what keeps returning.
Clinical work with anxiety, shame, intimacy, loneliness and relationship difficulties, informed by gay men’s lived context.
How therapy works ↗A clearer direction, with structure around it.
A focused arrangement for personal development, relationships and the decisions you want to make. Weekly sessions and agreed between-session support.
Explore coaching ↗Getting started
How getting
started works.
01 / Choose
Choose your service.
Read the therapy or coaching details and check suitability and location requirements.
02 / Book
Book directly.
Select a time in the relevant calendar. Therapy starts with a paid 60-minute assessment. Coaching starts with a paid 60-minute intake.
03 / Meet
Meet with me.
The first conversation explores your circumstances and whether working together is appropriate.
Who you’ll be
talking to
You’ll work with
me directly.
I’m Gino, a gay psychotherapist and writer. I’ve worked with gay men for more than ten years, paying particular attention to shame, attachment, relationships and the way minority stress can shape everyday life.
BACP registered · 00993851
HPCSA registered · PRC 0034622
10+ years working with gay men
Online · In English
From the writing desk
Writing that goes further
into the patterns.
Questions
Why see a gay therapist?
You don’t have to spend the first sessions explaining gay life or checking how I’ll react to it. Dating apps, open relationships, shame and the habit of managing how others see you are all part of the starting point. I’ve worked with gay men for more than ten years, and I’m gay myself.
What is the difference between therapy and coaching?
Therapy is clinical work with emotional and relational difficulties. Coaching is non-clinical work on goals you can already name, such as a relationship decision or a change of direction. Coaching does not diagnose or treat mental health conditions.
Where can I have online therapy with you?
I offer therapy to clients in the UK, Ireland, Spain, Denmark, Norway, Greece, Cyprus, the Netherlands, Belgium, Sweden, Portugal and South Africa. If you live anywhere else, or therapy isn’t what you want, you can choose coaching, which is available worldwide.
How much do therapy and coaching cost?
Therapy starts with a 60-minute session at €135. Ongoing 50-minute sessions are €135, or £115 in the UK. Coaching starts with a paid 60-minute intake at US$225, followed by three months at US$850 per month or six months at US$750 per month.
How do I start?
Read the therapy or coaching page, then choose a time in the calendar. No application or preliminary call is needed.
Are you a registered therapist?
Yes. I’m registered with the BACP (00993851), the HPCSA (PRC 0034622) and the NCPS (597).
Ready to
begin?
Questions about fit or availability? Contact Gino